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<title>I never wanted anything else by Eloquent_Vowel</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26954314">I never wanted anything else</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eloquent_Vowel/pseuds/Eloquent_Vowel'>Eloquent_Vowel</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Fictober2020 [10]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Critical Role (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angry Yasha, Angst, Other</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 18:42:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>555</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26954314</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eloquent_Vowel/pseuds/Eloquent_Vowel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Yasha is tormented by guilt over a certain teifling. The Stormlord contacts her in a dream.</p>
<p>Written for Fictober2020 'I never wanted anything else'</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Fictober2020 [10]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1947466</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Fictober20</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I never wanted anything else</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When her eyes opened to see nothing but deep blue skies Yasha knew she was dreaming. It was a familiar setting of almost pitch black rolling clouds that surrounded her on all sides. Her feet standing on something but there was nothing visible, as if she were floating just above a pool of perfectly reflective water. The distant rumble of thunder vibrated through her sending waves of anxiety that crashed against her stomach. It was the anticipation of what was to come that was the worst part. These dreams, visions, ended in her gaining a boon but losing something dear. There was nothing but low rumbling, anything but comforting, the feint crackle of lightning sparked in the distance.</p>
<p>‘Why?’ </p>
<p>Her voice was a whisper, it verged on the edge of silence but in it carried every ounce of anguish, every bitter shred of regret. That harsh whisper grew in the rolling thunder, it seemed to echo back at her, mocking her for her apparent weakness. With each crash of cloud the question came to her, ‘Why? Why? Why?’ </p>
<p>‘Did you not hear me?’ Her voice raised, still cold and even, despite the rage she felt boil she did what she had always done, hide. </p>
<p>The clouds did the same, they echoed her question, they fell to the rhythm of her words, a lightning strike falling at the end of each question. Yasha clenched her fists, the sound of thunder filling her brain, taunting her. </p>
<p>‘I said. Why?!’  This time she shouted, eyes shut, thin tears springing from underneath her eyelids that fell steadily down her cheeks, ‘Why? Why did you not do something, why must you take when you give, speak when I wish for silence, and remain silent when I beg for answers? Do you not know? Do you not know how much I wanted.. I never wanted anything else but a family. I thought I had it once, but then it was taken for me. And then he came along, a friend, a brother, a father, what more could I want? Then he was taken too. You couldn’t leave him be, could you? I never wanted anything but peace, so why have you not let me rest? Why? Do you hear me, Why?’<br/>Yasha collapsed on herself, head in her hands. Tears fell down her face more freely than they had in years, she choked on them as she inhaled deep gasping breaths. In one last scream of anguish her wings burst free from her back, ripping whatever cloth was there. Feathers fell around her, landing on reflective water, each feather spreading ripples that crossed over the other. A small bead of chaos in the calm. </p>
<p>Silence.</p>
<p>Then the thunder grew louder, a crescendo that centred itself above her. The lightning struck closer and closer, the sound splitting her ears and framing her figure. Every time the lightning struck the water the water split the bolt into tiny sparks of electricity. The sounds grew impossibly loud, her eardrums hurt and the lightning struck so close that she could no longer hear her own thoughts. </p>
<p>It stopped. </p>
<p>Silence hung in the air once more. </p>
<p>It rained. Droplets bounced off the water as a voice grew out of thunder.</p>
<p>‘To grow, we hurt.’<br/>Yasha awoke with a start, greeted with the tense atmosphere of solitude.</p>
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